One of the best commentaries I've read in some time was recently penned by one of my personal heroes, Thomas Sowell. In it, he points to the sad state of affairs we've found ourselves regarding the ability to disagree with each other.
From my Grandfather, my Dad, and many others, I've heard over and over that it is imperative to really listen to what someone is saying -- to understand it, think about it -- before responding. And any response should be with humility, intellectual honesty, and a deep respect for the other person no matter what's been said (even if it may have angered or offended you). I think Covey communicates this idea with the phrase "seek first to understand."
Now, I never said that I listened to what my betters told me -- anyone who knows me is already nodding their head as they read this. But what they said is an ideal I wish to someday approximate in my conduct. So I try, at least, to pay attention to it in what I read and what I write, how I talk to others and how they talk to me.
Opinion pages, probably by definition, are not big on understanding the other side of an argument. But what bothers me most about them is their typical disdain for the opposing side. What drives me nuts is their frequent use of the ad hominem attack -- otherwise known as the "attack to the man" (as opposed to the argument or idea itself). Back in my day, one had to take an informal logic class to graduate from university. In that class if you remembered anything, it was the ad hominem fallacy. That's right -- fallacy.
An example might be, "why, that guy Fred over there, he says smoking should be banned from public spaces, but he's a smoker himself and besides, his dog poops in my yard every morning and he never cleans it up, so he's not very conscientious." Being a smoker, or worse, a never-clean-up-after-your-own-dog smoker, may cause us to question your motives for your argument, but it has nothing to do with the argument itself --- "bad" people can still give good arguments.
The argument or the idea being argued either stands on its own merits or not. Using an ad hominem is sort of like shooting the messenger who brings you bad news. It's not the messenger's fault that the news is bad, and the news isn't going away just because the messenger is dead. But it does offer the convenience of giving you an excuse to ignore reality --- and it encourages others not to remind you that reality exists.
When ad hominems, or other silly disputatious mechanisms are used to counter an argument, it provides an easy way out for the other side -- they can quickly point to the fallacy or exaggeration and brush you off without having to grapple with more difficult ideas that could improve our knowledge or perspective.
After all, that used to be the whole point of debating issues -- two sides with opposing views respectfully disagreeing, using logic and evidence coupled with intellectual honesty, humility, and respect to challenge each other and arrive at a better place for having had to defend their positions. The necessary adaptation to the other's perspectives and counter-arguments leads to better perspective -- good arguments win, bad ones go away, and we are better off.
The most egregious example of ad hominem that I find being used ever more frequently is to call someone a Nazi, Hitler, Stalin, a Communist, etc. -- either directly, through metaphor, or any number of other subtler means. Such terms are fantastically disrespectful and give an immediate excuse for those opposing your opinion to brush it aside. They typically result in an adult version of a ten-year-old name calling contest. Why not just put on gloves and fight? It's the verbal equivalent.
You might instead consider trying: "that's an interesting position, how did you come upon it? What is your evidence? By what logic did you arrive to your conclusion?" Ben Franklin constantly peppered his speech and writing with, "it seems that..." and "it might be the case that..." and "I'm quite likely to be mistaken, but I've observed that ..." and "it occurs to me..."
If truth, or some approximation of it, is on your side, then the world would benefit from your sharing it in a way that invites inspection and consideration. Using disrespectful ad hominems, or carelessly misusing language in general, to appeal to the emotions of those who already agree with you, prevents that truth from emerging. But then, as Whatley said in his "Essay on the Love of Truth," it is one thing to wish truth to be on your side, and another thing entirely to wish to be on the side of truth.
The only way to be on the side of truth is to put all other questions / issues / concerns aside regarding an issue and asking, "what is the truth?" After that you can decide your position. And if you hope to have it get air time, you will present it with humility, intellectual honesty, and seek out those who can challenge it in order to improve its veracity. By being open to challenge, curious, and always willing to be wrong, you will find yourself improving the odds of being right. You will become an example to follow and improve our collective capability for discovery.
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