I once had an Associate ask me what MBM brought to the table when it comes to personality conflicts or dysfunctional relationships. He asked because he had a personality conflict at work that seemed insurmountable. I responded by pointing to the Guiding Principles and tried to make the point that if folks act in accordance with the Guiding Principles, personality conflicts could probably be worked through.
Of course, the Associate did not like this admittedly unsatisfying response. I didn't mean it this way, but he basically heard me say that personality conflicts don't exist where the Guiding Principles are upheld. What I meant was that people can work together without personally liking each other.
What do you think a more satisfying response to this question might be? How should I handle this question when it comes up in the future? Moreover, does MBM have a stance on personality conflicts?
Serendipity or just good understanding of teams? Doc Z you just know when to say what. I sent this to my team to see what they thought.
Plus, I gotta say, I love the Stanford video embed. Nice touch. I wouldnt have known it was there since I am reading via RSS.
My answer to the question would have included talk about humility (#8) and respect (#9) but also, intellectual honesty on the part of everyone.
Turn inward. Are you the source of the frustration? Does the conflict arise from your expectations about advancing your mission as an org.? Or does it come from a self centered view of how you think things should be going?
I love MBM's focus on root cause in cases like this. But, to discover it there has to be serious introspection on everyone's part.
What say you to that? Eh?
Posted by: Jonny B | 16 June 2010 at 10:53 AM
I think this would also be a good time to lead people to the diversity mental model. They can see the value in being different and having diverse thoughts.They might realize how someone else contributes to the group's goals, regardelss of his/her personality style.
Posted by: Tammy Carroll | 16 June 2010 at 05:01 PM
I agree with both comments. I think there could be a big value add in presenting it in a way that makes the person think and come to some conclusions on his or her own.
Side note, I also suggested the Associate should try taking the person out to lunch to try and better understand him/her.
Posted by: Ann | 17 June 2010 at 08:36 PM